His love for me

Fills me with glee

Our words never show

What our actions know

We said I do

Cuz I love you

Since 1994

And hope for 20 more

Ginny, the best-selling author*, well know social coordinator, artist, beloved wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister and friend died of  _________ w/ her family by her side. Under her organized, positive and witty approach to life lay an impatient, loud and annoying woman with heart of gold. She loved her family, friends, Elkhounds, writing, photography, art, changing her mind and having the last word. She is preceded by her husband Roger, or as many referred to him as the “the-hostage”, daughter Ashley, who many referred to as “Mini-Ginny” along with many grandchildren, family and friends. She was born Catholic, however liked to say religion was not for her, she was more of a realist who was intrigued by the super natural. She had a lifelong love affair with soda, shopping and laughing. During her life, she excelled at anything she put his mind to or ditched the evidence that she tried. She loved to hear a joke, tell tales of grand adventures she had and mock those she loved most. Her legendary humor will linger with her book of short stories “Virginia, I don’t find that funny” and with her loved ones. In lieu of flowers, she asked that you make a sizable denotation to yourself & do something FUN!                         *My biggest dream/ goal

Birthday Rule:

~You must be nice to your sister on her birthday, no matter what!

The birthday rule was like a free pass to mess with your sisters and they couldn’t do anything back to you. However my father did have a day-after clause. He would say, “Just remember, I see nothing.” He would always say it in his Sergeant Schultz’s voice (the guard from Hogan’s Hero’s). At first I thought he was trying to tame the birthday diva in us, all right me. Sadly, I proved him wrong every year. Years later, I realized the old man had played us. He knew we would cling to him like glue the day after.  And even if it were a workday he would be home early, cleaning the garage, basement or raking leaves. He would say if you’re not helping go play. So I helped, I always helped. Thankfully my mother would always save the leftover chicken and biscuits for me.

“The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.” ~ Ben Franklin

So I will admit I did not come out of the gate a Glenn Beck fan. I was astonished by his popularity, because like his critics I too thought he promoted conspiracy theories and drank a little too much of the krazy-kool-aid. As I continued to watch his show with my husband (GB fan all the way), GB began to get to me, thinking he was lost on that shortcut route. Although he was extremely entertaining, he annoyed the crap out of me at first. And the last man that annoyed me that much, well I married him. Anyway, I started spending my lunch hours researching all the crap he dished out, thinking I would find his little shortcut. I was purchasing American history books from amazon like I was an addict looking for my next fix. And to my surprise, agreeing with him most of the time, yet on a non-espresso level. Then it hit me, OMG! This guy is brilliant! It doesn’t matter if he is the biggest conspirator of our century or super hero of American values. He got me to care about this country, our history, and where the heck it is going. Something my father tried to convince me to do his whole life, and most recently my husband. I am certain my father would have been a big GB fan, as I am now.

So remember not everything you like is good for you (aka: shortcuts)

1.     Do not shave your sister for any reason

2.     Do not perform medical procedures on your sister (i.e. tourniquet)

When I was a kid, I was certain my mother had ESP; she would pick up on clues like she was one of the lead characters in an Agatha Christie book. Ok, the screaming probably tipped her off to a few things. Today we laugh about our “Epilady Incident”. Alright, maybe only two of us laugh about it, since the other was scared by it.

And experimenting on your spouse is just not the same. I think it’s because my husband (youngest of five) probably has horrible flashbacks or maybe he is just watching too much Myth-Busters. Whatever the reason; over the last few years my experimenting has become a solo journey. So every summer I tell myself. “This is the summer I will have a tan.” My first attempt was with self-tanning lotion. It was like the tanning-cult pulled me in, as I believed it could give me a “natural looking tan”. Seriously, don’t believe everything you read! I looked hideous; like an orange smurf. Thankfully pants could cover my legs; however my orange thumb took days to return too normal. I almost considered bringing back the Michael Jackson one glove look.  My second attempt was with self tanner spray, I thought it might be a little easier than the lotion. OMG!!! It was a complete disaster. My daughter’s legs looked like she was a burn victim. Hey, don’t judge, she was a willing participant at the time. Unfortunately she now has a spray phobia; I can’t even use hair spray without her running to her room.  So a friend of mine recently suggested tanning pills. Well, all I can envision is Violet from the Willy Wonka movie. So I think I will put my tanning experiment to rest unless any of you would like to volunteer.

1.       Challenge yourself: Saying “I can’t do that” will give you just that result. I am not a fan of water and every year I participate in a water activity (boating, rafting, swimming…) that way I am conquering my fears rather than being controlled by them. And let’s be honest for most of us just putting on a bathing suit, is a challenge. So I say put on that yellow polka dot bikini, leave the cover up at home and go outside with your cadaver white skin and live a little. Whenever I have something that is upsetting to me, like a missed opportunity, stress, or loss of someone dear. I think of the quote from Einstein. “In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity”. And I know that I need to look for the opportunity.

2.       Create a positive environment:  Be proud of who you are, your home and the people you surround yourself with. Embrace the things you love! I love art, photography, writing and helping others. You would be amazed how great it makes you feel. One of my favorite quotes is by Princess Di “Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you”. It can be something small, volunteering your time, helping a friend with a project or my favorite sending a card or gift, to let someone know you care. Pursue the environment you want. What better place to start than your circle of friends. According to Oprah (whom I just love!) every woman should have 5 types of friends. The “uplifter”, this is the friend that sits next to you in the hospital. The “travel buddy”, my traveling adventures are some of my fondest memories (WV, CA, PA, ME and my favorite Boston). The “truth teller”, you must be able to put 110% of your trust in them, someone who is not judgmental or emotional and sober really helps. This is a very rare individual, some might even think extinct. However I am lucky, I have 2 in my life. Then everyone needs a “girl who just wanna have fun” in their life. This is the friend who sits next to you in jail or at least helps you hide the evidence:) Then your “unlikely friend” a person who is worldly, different and intelligent. These friends are the best; they are a wealth of knowledge, giving you great ideas, motivation and would be the person you would call if you were on a game show.

3.        AVOID 101:  We have all heard “misery likes company”. So do not give crazy, hurtful or judgmental folks the opportunity to convert you, because once you go to the dark side of misery not even Luke Skywalker can bring you back. Remember when people try to force their views on you, pass judgment or blame others for their misfortunes, is due to their insecurities within themselves. Unfortunately we all have insecurities, its just some of us are able to learn and grow from them while others are stuck in a cycle of insecurity-craziness. When you encounter these folks, immediately run to the light and get the hell out… because unless you have a bottle of Jack and Dr. Phil’s direct number you’re in imminent danger of being converted.  Sometimes you don’t even realize what you are insecure about. I never gave much thought about how others managed their money, careers, religion, decorated their homes or handled their relationships. Why, well daaahh… because I’m obviously secure and happy in those areas of my life. Yet I was very judgmental about how others lacked in parenting skills. OK, actually I was dreadfully brutal about it, and if you were on the receiving end you were pretty much in a fetal position by the time I was done giving my opinion. And when I thought about it, not only was I insecure about my parenting skills, since parenting did not come naturally to me. And let me just tell you those who told me, parenting comes naturally, they LIED!   YUP, all of them! So like any woman I thought something must be wrong with me. I struggled with staying pregnant resulting in miscarriages. Oh and my delivery, well that was something of a crime scene that no woman should ever have to go through. Thankfully to my “can-do” husband, we dodge what could have been a whole new “mommy-dearest” revival. Nevertheless just to be on the safe side I only buy plastic hangers. And as reality settled in, I realized that no parent is perfect, and yes there are so many people who should not be parents and sadly some that will never be. However, when my daughter is an adult, happy, able to support herself and a productive member of society I will know then that I was a successful parent and of course I will have to give 40% of the credit to my husband.