College Girl Again

I have struggled with the direction I want my career to go, for a few years. While photography has been my main passion for twenty years, I want something more now. Yet not knowing what the heck that was until recently. I thought holy-crap, I am 35+5 (still sounds better than 40) and I haven’t a clue of what I want to be when I grow up. And although others have reassured me I am not alone in that feeling. It still didn’t stop the TICK TOCK in my head. I began with making a list of my interests and researching those paths. Since I am all about the preparation, I attended lectures, meet with those in my field of interest, obtained my college transcripts and letters of recommendation. So here I am ready for my first day tomorrow as an officially college student, again.

Show Entitlement The Door ~vent

American’s desire for fundamental change unfortunately comes with a side of entitlement, that is marinated in “I deserve-it” attitude, wrapped in quilt for the rest of us to pony up our hard earned cash. I think it’s time to give these folks a ripcord to Earn-it-ville USA. And send our government to some much-needed therapy, as they are the biggest enablers on the plant! They are causing an indissoluble wedge between hardworking Americans and those with their hands out looking for the next government bailout. Seriously hasn’t the Senate, House of Representatives or our President ever heard of the old saying “give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he will eat for the rest of his life” (sigh) Sadly, I have come to the realization that any similarity between politicians and hardworking people is purely coincidental. Seriously, unless it’s going to be in their insanity plea, they gotta stop blaming everything from he ate my homework to global warming on the previous administration and become part of the solution.

“The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.” ~ Ben Franklin

My Glenn Beck Review

We’ve all heard the old cliché that says your gut instinct will never lead you astray. And we all know that doubt has never done anyone any good, although I know several folks who have a degree in it. I wonder why then so many of us second guess our gut instincts and let doubt take us for a ride on the “what-if” roller coaster. Fear, insecurity or maybe their parents wouldn’t let them, whatever the reason it seems many of us ignore our gut instinct and take shortcuts or the “what-if” roller coaster to obtain our facts. Oh an FYI; facts are not found from some bias-blogs or a friend who told you it “happened” to their second cousin or that friend who wants to give you advice on a topic they haven’t a clue about or never even tried. Nevertheless, they can be entertaining. Non-bias information (facts) can only come from those without an agenda or who have obtained true success in that field. I think Wikipedia states it best with “biases can result from information-processing shortcuts…. drastically skew the reliability” well dah… Any chef, baker and grandmother will tell you shortcuts do not work! As I learned from my brownie making days, which resulted in a new pan purchase and being informed “we will no longer need your babysitting services”   Yet some still want to go the shortcut route. This may come as shock, if you are only reading part of the article (or listening to part of a show) and haven’t a clue the source from where that information came from…. (wait for it)…. then that is a SHORTCUT!

So I will admit I did not come out of the gate a Glenn Beck fan. I was astonished by his popularity, because like his critics I too thought he promoted conspiracy theories and drank a little too much of the krazy-kool-aid. As I continued to watch his show with my husband (GB fan all the way), GB began to get to me, thinking he was lost on that shortcut route. Although he was extremely entertaining, he annoyed the crap out of me at first. And the last man that annoyed me that much, well I married him. Anyway, I started spending my lunch hours researching all the crap he dished out, thinking I would find his little shortcut. I was purchasing American history books from amazon like I was an addict looking for my next fix. And to my surprise, agreeing with him most of the time, yet on a non-espresso level. Then it hit me, OMG! This guy is brilliant! It doesn’t matter if he is the biggest conspirator of our century or super hero of American values. He got me to care about this country, our history, and where the heck it is going. Something my father tried to convince me to do his whole life, and most recently my husband. I am certain my father would have been a big GB fan, as I am now.

So remember not everything you like is good for you (aka: shortcuts)

Learn From Our Experiences

I love to try new things, and coming from a family of three girls there were plenty of opportunities to experiment. Sometimes I look back and think of all the crazy things I tried and laugh, cringe at a few and some I am still afraid to tell my mom about. It’s funny how some siblings spend their childhood in perfect harmony; while others fight and some just wished they were an only child. My sisters and I were all of the above, our parents referred to us as the “good”, “bad” and “ugly”. I have always felt that sibling relationships are like a magic 8ball. Go ahead, shake out a question. “Is my sister going to be the snitch, nemesis or my greatest ally today?” Answer: “You never know”. Having a sibling is unlike any other relationship. So just remember, Santa may see everything, however your sister or brother will yell it from the top of the stairs if you get them mad enough. Nevertheless, thankfully I am the oldest, because the youngest is the expérimentée. Take the Epilady incident.  Oh, a moment of silence for all the victims…. Ours resulted in two rules being added to my parent’s rulebook.

1.     Do not shave your sister for any reason

2.     Do not perform medical procedures on your sister (i.e. tourniquet)

When I was a kid, I was certain my mother had ESP; she would pick up on clues like she was one of the lead characters in an Agatha Christie book. Ok, the screaming probably tipped her off to a few things. Today we laugh about our “Epilady Incident”. Alright, maybe only two of us laugh about it, since the other was scared by it.

And experimenting on your spouse is just not the same. I think it’s because my husband (youngest of five) probably has horrible flashbacks or maybe he is just watching too much Myth-Busters. Whatever the reason; over the last few years my experimenting has become a solo journey. So every summer I tell myself. “This is the summer I will have a tan.” My first attempt was with self-tanning lotion. It was like the tanning-cult pulled me in, as I believed it could give me a “natural looking tan”. Seriously, don’t believe everything you read! I looked hideous; like an orange smurf. Thankfully pants could cover my legs; however my orange thumb took days to return too normal. I almost considered bringing back the Michael Jackson one glove look.  My second attempt was with self tanner spray, I thought it might be a little easier than the lotion. OMG!!! It was a complete disaster. My daughter’s legs looked like she was a burn victim. Hey, don’t judge, she was a willing participant at the time. Unfortunately she now has a spray phobia; I can’t even use hair spray without her running to her room.  So a friend of mine recently suggested tanning pills. Well, all I can envision is Violet from the Willy Wonka movie. So I think I will put my tanning experiment to rest unless any of you would like to volunteer.

3 Rules = Happiness

Happiness is a state of mind! A statement I would strongly agree with. And admittedly I have lost my mind a time or two thankfully it’s rare. Having a positive outlook, sense of humor and being comfortable with who I am even when I haven’t a clue of what or where I’m going, is very important. When I was a kid, family and friends would say, “she marches to the beat of her own drum”. Something I have always been fantastic at and highly recommend to others. I don’t allow others to influence my goals, beliefs or values. I try to follow what I refer to as “my rule of 3s”

1.       Challenge yourself: Saying “I can’t do that” will give you just that result. I am not a fan of water and every year I participate in a water activity (boating, rafting, swimming…) that way I am conquering my fears rather than being controlled by them. And let’s be honest for most of us just putting on a bathing suit, is a challenge. So I say put on that yellow polka dot bikini, leave the cover up at home and go outside with your cadaver white skin and live a little. Whenever I have something that is upsetting to me, like a missed opportunity, stress, or loss of someone dear. I think of the quote from Einstein. “In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity”. And I know that I need to look for the opportunity.

2.       Create a positive environment:  Be proud of who you are, your home and the people you surround yourself with. Embrace the things you love! I love art, photography, writing and helping others. You would be amazed how great it makes you feel. One of my favorite quotes is by Princess Di “Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you”. It can be something small, volunteering your time, helping a friend with a project or my favorite sending a card or gift, to let someone know you care. Pursue the environment you want. What better place to start than your circle of friends. According to Oprah (whom I just love!) every woman should have 5 types of friends. The “uplifter”, this is the friend that sits next to you in the hospital. The “travel buddy”, my traveling adventures are some of my fondest memories (WV, CA, PA, ME and my favorite Boston). The “truth teller”, you must be able to put 110% of your trust in them, someone who is not judgmental or emotional and sober really helps. This is a very rare individual, some might even think extinct. However I am lucky, I have 2 in my life. Then everyone needs a “girl who just wanna have fun” in their life. This is the friend who sits next to you in jail or at least helps you hide the evidence   Then your “unlikely friend” a person who is worldly, different and intelligent. These friends are the best; they are a wealth of knowledge, giving you great ideas, motivation and would be the person you would call if you were on a game show.

3.        AVOID 101:  We have all heard “misery likes company”. So do not give crazy, hurtful or judgmental folks the opportunity to convert you, because once you go to the dark side of misery not even Luke Skywalker can bring you back. Remember when people try to force their views on you, pass judgment or blame others for their misfortunes, is due to their insecurities within themselves. Unfortunately we all have insecurities, its just some of us are able to learn and grow from them while others are stuck in a cycle of insecurity-craziness. When you encounter these folks, immediately run to the light and get the hell out… because unless you have a bottle of Jack and Dr. Phil’s direct number you’re in imminent danger of being converted.  Sometimes you don’t even realize what you are insecure about. I never gave much thought about how others managed their money, careers, religion, decorated their homes or handled their relationships. Why, well daaahh… because I’m obviously secure and happy in those areas of my life. Yet I was very judgmental about how others lacked in parenting skills. OK, actually I was dreadfully brutal about it, and if you were on the receiving end you were pretty much in a fetal position by the time I was done giving my opinion. And when I thought about it, not only was I insecure about my parenting skills, since parenting did not come naturally to me. And let me just tell you those who told me, parenting comes naturally, they LIED!   YUP, all of them! So like any woman I thought something must be wrong with me. I struggled with staying pregnant resulting in miscarriages. Oh and my delivery, well that was something of a crime scene that no woman should ever have to go through. Thankfully to my “can-do” husband, we dodge what could have been a whole new “mommy-dearest” revival. Nevertheless just to be on the safe side I only buy plastic hangers. And as reality settled in, I realized that no parent is perfect, and yes there are so many people who should not be parents and sadly some that will never be. However, when my daughter is an adult, happy, able to support herself and a productive member of society I will know then that I was a successful parent and of course I will have to give 40% of the credit to my husband.

Welcome to my ~blog

Welcome to my blog

I turned 40 (a few months ago), and YES I said it out loud to all those who know I dodge telling my real age, as if I was admitting to a crime or something. However I have decided to embrace my age, alright not embrace, just coming to reality…

I truly believe things happen for a reason, and although at times you can’t imagine why. In the end I think it will help you be a better stronger person… So things and events in my life has led me to the blog-world.  Please feel free to comment (unless its about my age) or share your experiences too.